Peace of Mind Organizing

Question your beliefs

11 March 2009

Most of the people I work with are dealing with clutter. As we work through the stuff and I help the client make decisions about whether to keep items, I’m often amazed at the different ways people feel about letting stuff go.

Some apply pure reason. “I haven’t used this serving dish in two years. I don’t need it. Let’s donate it.” That always makes me cheer.

Others, have a deeper attachment to their stuff and those conversations are different. “My great aunt gave that serving dish to me and even though I don’t like it and I don’t think I’ll ever use it, I can’t possibly give it away.” When that happens, we revisit the client’s vision for the space and purpose for getting organized and sometimes she’ll be willing to let go of the unloved serving dish when she realizes it doesn’t support her vision for her space.

Why do some people cling to their stuff? They may be harboring some deeply held beliefs that get in the way of their deciding that it’s okay to say goodbye to some of their belongings.

I recently read Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding, by David F. Tolin, Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee. This book, which presents cognitive behavioral therapy techniques for hoarders to help themselves, is fabulous. Its compassionate approach is based on the landmark research the authors are doing on treating hoarders. In the book, the authors talk about “unhelpful beliefs” that get in people’s way of getting rid of clutter. They include:

• Beliefs about the usefulness of an item. Every item shows potential.
• Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes. If I throw it away, I might be sorry.
• Beliefs about responsibility. I have to find the best home for it.
• Beliefs about attachment. This item is like an old friend.
• Beliefs about objects as a source of identity. Those old tubes of paint make me feel like a painter.
• Underestimating memory. I’ll never remember this event if I throw away the program.
• Beliefs about control. This is my stuff. You can’t tell me what to do with it.

Recognizing and questioning unhelpful beliefs like these can you get past them and free yourself of items that are weighing you down.

The new teleclass, Declutter Happy Hour, I’m offering with life coach Shannon Wilkinson can help you get to the root of those beliefs and clear the emotions behind them, while getting started on physically decluttering your space.

Be careful out there!

10 March 2009

Yesterday, I received an alarming email from my friend, Susan McCullough, a very successful dog writer (author of Housetraining For Dummies and Senior Dogs for Dummies, among other titles.) In early January, she was knocked down to the ground at a park when a couple of boisterous dogs ran into her from behind and sent her flying. She landed on her back, hitting her head. The most serious consequence seemed to be a sprained finger.

Fast forward a month or so. Susan started experiencing severe headaches, extreme exhaustion and increasing motor difficulties. She had begun to lose the use of one of her legs. Scary business. Her doctor, who had been subscribing pain killers, sent her to the emergency room where a CAT scan revealed she had two, slowly-leaking subdural hemotomas that had reached critical mass and “were actually shifting [her] brain out of place,” as she wrote in this blog post about the event. Within 45 minutes, they’d drilled into her head and drained out the excess blood. Yikes.

Until Susan told the ER doctors about her fall in the dog park, they were concerned she had a stroke, tumor, aneurysm or worse. But the spill explained everything.

The lesson here? If you hit your head, take it very seriously, even if you don’t immediately have symptoms or if they seem temporary. Any neurological symptoms, even weeks later, might be explained by the injury. As her husband pointed out in an email, even if Susan had gone to the doctor immediately after the fall, the damage might well not have been detected.

I’m very grateful that Susan’s okay, and I appreciate her sharing her story. I had an identical incident in a dog park probably ten years ago, with no lasting consequences. I now know that I should have taken it more seriously!

Organizing and the creative person

9 March 2009

I work with a lot of chronically disorganized clients and many of them are creative people.

Creative people have a lot going for them. They tend to be fun, full of life, and see the possibility in everything. When it comes to organization, however, they often have a few strikes against them:

• They’re usually visual learners, which means they can be afraid to put stuff away for fear if they don’t see it, they’ll forget about it.
• Being visual makes them crave beautiful surroundings. Clutter gets in the way of that. So their need to have everything out tends to clash with their desire for a beautiful environment.
• The fact they see the possibility in everything makes them want to keep everything. The result? Clutter.
• When everything is potentially useful it’s hard to assign priorities when it comes to decluttering. An old bottle cap can be seen as just as valuable as an art book.
• Traditional organizing systems weren’t designed for the way they think (speaking generally).

That’s why creative people, in particular, can really benefit from working with a professional organizer. We can provide customized strategies for organizing things in ways that really work for them. And when decluttering is a necessity, we can help establish some parameters and guide decisions about what’s truly important to keep. If you’re creative and frustrated by cluttered surroundings, consider reaching out for some organizing help. It could pay off in ways that surprise you.

Hello, computer-related clutter!

6 March 2009

The other day I decided to sell my Palm T|X handheld on Gazelle. It’s a website that buys used electronics. (I’ll write a post after the transaction is complete to let you know how the experience was.) I’d replaced the Palm with my beloved iPod Touch, so thought I’d divest myself of it.

I needed to check off whether I had the original software and documentation that came with the Palm, so I went hunting for it. The good news is that I had it. The bad news is that it wasn’t alone. Not by a long shot.

I keep computer-related stuff in a closet in my office. When I get some new software, I put the CD on a pile and the manual in one of two or three magazine holders. (Other types of manuals are more carefully organized in a filing cabinet upstairs.) Trouble is, only I ever add to the stuff in those magazine holders. I don’t tend to subtract.

So in looking for my Palm documentation, I dumped everything out on the floor. Here’s a photo of the mess:

My computer manual "archive."

When I went through it I found that well over half of the stuff could be tossed. Here are some of the highlights of what I threw away:

• Hardware and software for a laptop I retired in 2004.
• Software on 2.5” floppy disks written for Windows 95/98/NT/2000/Me
• TurboTax software for Tax Year 1997

Yikes. I tell my clients that to maintain order they must weed constantly. Clearly, it’s time to practice what I preach!

Decisions and clutter

5 March 2009

When I talk with clients or give talks, I’ll often make this statement:

Clutter is nothing but delayed decisions.

And then I’ll urge folks to make decisions, rather than delaying them.

It’s not always that simple, though, is it? That simple sentence doesn’t address why it’s so hard for people to make decisions. Sometimes it’s hard-wired behavior, I suppose. Maybe some people are just naturally indecisive. But sometimes there are some deep emotions attached to the inability to make decisions:

• Lack of confidence: You think you don’t know enough to make a correct decision.
• Fear: Maybe you got in trouble as a child for making the wrong decision and are afraid of failing again.
• Perfectionism: You’re waiting to make sure you’re making the very best choice.
• Misplaced importance: You blow the importance of the decision way out of proportion, making a mountain out of a molehill.
• Emotional (or physical) exhaustion: If life’s beating you down, you don’t want to have to think about another thing.

And then sometimes you just have too many choices. Studies show that the more options you have, the harder it is to make a decision. (Read this fascinating article on decision-making in Scientific American for more information.)

Whatever the reason for habitual indecision, it certainly can result in clutter.

That’s one reason I’ve teamed up with life coach Shannon Wilkinson to offer folks the opportunity in a four-week teleclass to deal with the emotions behind the clutter, as well as the clutter itself. Check it out at Declutter Happy Hour.

Do unto others

4 March 2009

We all know the Golden Rule (do unto others as you would have them do unto you). Probably most of us try to live by it. I know I do.

But this past week I experienced, as I have in the past, how the Golden Rule can backfire.

My husband, Barry, caught a stomach bug and was laid flat in bed for three days last week. He started feeling better on Saturday. On Sunday morning, he was fine. I felt great while he was sick, but at 1 a.m. on Sunday morning, I woke up with the bug. I, too, was sick for about three days (though my brain is still catching up and I’m on day four).

Here’s where the part about the Golden Rule comes in.

Barry and I have been together for 22 years and while I know full well that he likes to be left alone when he’s sick, I’m someone who wants to be doted on when I’m ill. That poses a bit of a problem.

While he was lying in bed looking miserable, I was hovering. Checking on how he was feeling. Asking if I could get him anything. Trying to remember that he just wanted to be left alone, but finding that really difficult.

Then it was my turn. I was lying in bed, equally miserable, just as he was enjoying feeling healthy again. He knows I like to be catered to. He knows I like to talk, in gory detail, about my symptoms. But, thanks to the Golden Rule, his inclination was to wait for me to ask for something if I needed it. Otherwise, he’d leave me alone and let me sleep.

This is not good. You’d think after 22 years we could figure it out. We sort of did this time. Once I was feeling a little better, we talked and joked about our different approaches to illness. I adjusted my expectations, knowing he was trying his best. I asked for what I wanted, rather than waiting for him to ask if I needed anything. And, for his part, he did every single I asked of him. He tolerated my hovering without complaint.

Maybe next time we’re sick—which I’m hoping won’t be for a good, long time—we’ll remember this experience and meet in the middle. If past history is any indication, however, we probably won’t. That’s how strong that Golden Rule is.

A great giveaway for the small-business owner

2 March 2009

My friend Brandie Kajino, The Home Office Organizer, is having an amazing giveaway on her blog, sponsored by Office Depot. She’s giving away a great package: a laptop, a shredder, an all-in-one printer/scanner/copier/fax, backup service, and online storage.

It’s perfect for someone starting a small business or someone trying to grow a business. To enter you must do the following things: write a comment on the blog post about the giveaway stating why you would like to win, subscribe to the RSS Feed to her blog, and be willing to share your experience as the winner. Twitter members can get bonus points by retweeting. Sounds simple to me.

The only catch? The giveaway ends soon, on March 8. Head on over there and enter!