Peace of Mind Organizing

The power of knowing what's important to you

26 May 2022

My dad and me in his new apartment

In our podcast, Getting to Good Enough, my co-host Shannon Wilkinson and I talk a lot about the importance of knowing what’s important to you in order to figure out when something is good enough.

I find the question of what’s important carries through to every aspect of my life. It’s become a touchstone of sorts for me.

Case in point: I was in Walla Walla, Washington, earlier this month helping my 91-year-old father move into assisted living. It was a happy move: he’d agreed to it (after encouragement from me) and he’s a very amiable guy. So compared to many, it was relatively stress-free. And I’m happy to report that he really likes it!

I was there for only nine days and during that time I also needed to get his condo ready to put on the market. Thankfully, he didn’t want to move too much stuff, which made the move much easier. But that meant I was faced with a whole lot of stuff that needed to be given or thrown away in a very short period of time.

I started to stress about not being able to get everything done. And then I got in touch with what was important to me: Spending time with my father and making sure he’s comfortable in his new digs. Once I acknowledged that, it helped me figure out ways to delegate some of the things that needed to happen at his condo. And I even allowed myself the possibility that I might not get everything done before I left town and so it might take longer than I’d like to get the condo on the market.

As it turned out, I got to have my cake and eat it too. I was able to get my completely settled in AND I was able to get the condo emptied out. It went on the market just four days after I left town. (Bonus! I got him to agree to stop driving and I sold his car.)

The moral of this story: When you are torn between priorities or you’re having trouble making a decision, think about what’s important to you and use that information to guide your decision. Sometimes it’s surprising how clear things become when you know your why!

Weed out your files!

23 May 2022

I’ve just been through the journey of moving my dear 91-year-old father into assisted living. It went well and he’s happy. I am so grateful. (Prepare yourself for multiple blog posts based on this journey!)

As part of the process, I went through everything in his condo that he didn’t take with him into assisted living. I also went through everything that we brought over from my aunt’s home when she moved into a care facility in February. I thought I’d be able to go through her stuff at my leisure, but instead I had to go through it in a compressed amount of time as I tried to empty the condo in just a few days.

My big takeaway? Weed out your files! I had years’ worth of bank statements and paid bills and EOBs to go through and ultimately. There were many boxes of shredding. Luckily one of our wonderful real estate agents, Megan Watts of Team Watts helped me by schlepping the bulk of it to Staples. But going through, and properly destroying, all those papers definitely added to the burden of an already overwhelming task.

My own file cabinet could use some weeding and I vow that by the end of the month I will do it. And I’m going to keep it lean because (a) I don’t need those papers and (b) no one wants to deal with them when I’m no longer able.

Do yourself (and your loved ones a favor). Weed out your files!

Limit your hangers

3 May 2022

I thought I’d pass along a little tip that helped me keep my closet from getting overcrowded. This is no longer an issue since I’ve minimized my wardrobe and cut back drastically on clothes shopping. But back in the days when I shopped for fun, I often faced an overcrowded closet when I came home with new purchases.

So I implemented this policy, and it worked like a charm.

If you thin your wardrobe down to a manageable level, so that you can easily access what you have and there’s plenty of ease getting your hanging clothes in and out, then stop buying hangers. If you set that restriction, you’ll be forced to let go of an item if you buy something new and you don’t have any empty hangers.

It’s simple and easy. And it works!

A little goes a long way

29 April 2022

I adore the Yoga With Adriene YouTube Channel and I’ve been trying to do yoga every day. (Here’s a blog post I wrote about why I love Yoga With Adriene.) But sometimes I have a hard time prioritizing it. I like to do yoga in the morning but when I have to be out of the house early I can have trouble making the time. On those days, I’ll do Adriene’s Five Minute Morning Yoga. Is it better than a longer practice? No. But it’s certainly better than no practice. And it really is a great way to start the day.

Adriene is fond of saying “A little goes a long way” when it comes to yoga. I got to thinking that that’s also true of decluttering and organizing. A lot of people (me included) tend to let clutter build up before they address it. Or they think they need a big chunk of time to do any organizing. But in fact, if you snatch five (or 15 or 30) minutes and focus on letting go of a few things or simply putting stuff away, you can create some order. Add those little sessions up and you can make true headway.

Next time you think, “I’ve got to get organized!” take a little action. Set your timer for five or ten minutes and remind yourself that a little goes a long way. I promise if you do that on a regular basis, you’ll feel more peace of mind.

Are your affairs in order?

22 April 2022

I published this article in my newsletter this month and, based on the feedback I received, it struck a chord. It’s an important message, so I thought I’d share it here.

Last fall, my aunt asked me to be her Power of Attorney for finances and health. She was 92 and had been told by her doctor that she had dementia. I was already my father’s Power of Attorney so I agreed to do it. I’m glad I did, though I didn’t actually realize how much work it would be.

This year, it became apparent that she needed to move to memory care and it fell on me as her Power of Attorney to find a place for her to move, convince her to move, arrange her move and get her house on the market. I continue to handle her daily finances. And she lives a couple of thousand miles away in Walla Walla, Washington. Luckily I have the skill set to do this fairly easily and I’m very glad to be of assistance.

But I started to think: What if she hadn’t made those arrangements? If we hadn’t signed papers last fall while she still had her faculties, everything would have been much more difficult today. Since moving in February, she had a stroke and has had to move into a skilled nursing facility.

You just don’t know what the future is going to hold for your health or the health of those you love. If you don’t have a will and a health directive, please get them. If you you haven’t designated a Power of Attorney for finances and/or health care, please do it now. And, finally, if you have an elderly relative who doesn’t have a Power of Attorney, please encourage them to assign one. I promise that at some point you will be glad you did.

Worth repeating: Letting go of sentimental items

18 April 2022

When I re-ran my No Excuses series last week, I had a comment about the difficulty of letting go of sentimental items. I thought I’d repeat a blog post from April 19, 2021 (almost exactly a year ago!) that addresses this challenge.

During last week’s Declutter Happy Hour class, we discussed the challenge of decluttering sentimental items. They can be so hard to let go of, even when you’re motivated to downsize.

The piece of advice I always share about sentimental stuff is that the more you keep of it, the less special any of it is. For example, instead of keeping all your kids’ art projects, which can be hard to store in a way that allows you to enjoy them, keep just the meaningful ones. Another example: Instead of hanging onto your grandmother’s collection of a dozen tea cups, keep one or two and display them. Then release the rest to cousins who might appreciate them or tea cup collectors who might buy them on eBay or in a resale shop.

I also always urge clients to think what will happen to these sentimental items after they pass away. The best way to see that they’re respected and appreciated is to disperse them while you’re still able. That will not only help you downsize, it will make it easier for the person who is responsible for going through all your stuff after you pass.

Getting in touch with why you’re decluttering can help in these difficult decisions. Remember, it’s not an all-or-nothing proposition. You can choose just to keep one or two items that represent a particular person or time in your life and let go of the rest.

Photo by Lydia Matzal on Unsplash

No Excuses series (part 3): "But it was a gift"

11 April 2022

This is the third in a three-part series of posts debunking the three excuses I hear most frequently from clients for wanting to keep items they no longer use or love. The series originally ran in January and February 2017 and I decided it was worth running again. Click here to see the other articles in the series.

The third common excuse I hear for keeping an unloved or unused item is that it was a gift. This is a tough one. People tend to have a difficult time parting with items that were given to them. (As an aside, this has completely changed how I give gifts, knowing that my gift may some day become clutter for the recipient.)

What do I say to clients who tell me they can’t let go of something because it was a gift? The first question I ask is:

• Do you think the gift giver would really want you to keep something you don’t use, just because they gave it to you? If they knew you were investing time and money in paring down your belongings and getting organized, would they care if you let it go?

Usually that’s enough to help the client release it. If that doesn’t do the trick, I might ask:

• Is there another family member you can pass this on to who would love it?

That can be very helpful, especially when the gift giver has passed away. (I’m the thrilled recipient of some paintings that my grandmother created, given to me by her nieces when they were decluttering.)

Really, what I find is that the client just needs permission to let gifts go. So let me do that for you right now: You are not obligated to keep an item you don’t use or love just because it was a gift. I give you permission to re-gift it or donate it. Don’t stash it in a closet. And try not to worry that the giver will ever ask about it. Chances are they won’t.