Sometimes I wonder why it is so hard for most of us to accept help. By the time I’m called into a client’s home, she (or, sometimes, he) typically has contemplated hiring me for weeks, months, or years. And typically that time is filled with guilt, self-recrimination and stress.
The reluctance to accept help isn’t limited to hiring someone, though. I’ve observed that it can be difficult to ask for help from friends or family members or even accept help when it’s offered.
Accepting help is a big part of how I try to let my life be easy. There are many things I’m not good at that my friends are. For example, my friend, Sally picks out all my wall paint colors. I’m absolutely inept at that. I’m a bit color-challenged, I’m easily overwhelmed by too many choices and I lack confidence in my design abilities. Sally is great at it and loves doing it. Hooray!
My friend Geralin helps me with sticky wardrobe choices. If I’m going on TV, I call Geralin for advice on what to wear and how to accessorize. If I want to knit myself something, I’ll check with her to make sure she thinks the sweater would be flattering on me. (One time she replied with a succinct “Not on my watch!”) Geralin is great at this and it seems as natural to her as breathing. Why wouldn’t I ask her help?
I have a wonderful housecleaner who comes every week. He does a much better job than I ever would and he relieves me of a dreaded task. Same goes with the guy who mows our lawn.
I no longer have a problem accepting help, whether hired or gifted. I know I love helping people, so I believe my friends when they say they want to help me. I have no trouble charging my clients for my help, so I have no difficulty paying others for theirs.
Is there anything in your life you’d benefit from getting help on? Ask for it!